John David is a curious fellow. At a very young age, he became expert at bypassing baby gates, eating snail poison, and somehow climbing to spaces above kitchen cabinets. As an adolescent, he moved on to “borrowing” his father’s tools, disassembling and “reassembling” household appliances to learn how they work, and designing potato cannons out of PVC and gas grill igniters. Later, this Jack of all trades, master of none turned his attention to geospatial information science, space-based remote sensing, and telling lies with maps. In fact, John David discovered he was so mendacious, he thought it fruitful to put the frequency and looseness with which he handles truth to work on stage in the form of improv (i.e., making stuff up). Furthermore, not a single word of this short bio is true, except for those that are.